Incredible as it may sound, we have
just learned that Jesus Christ himself was just arrested by Belgium for
his role in the massacre of Palestinians in Sabra and Shatilla in 1982.
It seems Jesus had returned to earth a few years back and was quietly
checking out the situation of Christendom, especially in Europe. When he
came for a fact-finding visit to Brussels, he was arrested at the train
station by the Belgian gendarmes and thrown into jail.
When asked about this, the Justice
Minister of Belgium explained that Jesus was arrested because – as a
Jewish colonist and occupier of Palestinian lands – he clearly had a
role in the Sabra and Shatilla affair that was at least as serious as
that of Ariel Sharon, whom the Belgians are also seeking to prosecute.
Besides, at Sabra and Shatilla, Lebanese Christians killed Palestinians,
the Minister pointed out. Belgium believes Ariel Sharon should have had
the prescience to know the massacres would take place before they
actually did, even though no one in Belgium foresaw them coming. They
also claim Jesus himself should have been even more capable of
foreseeing the consequences of the entrance of the Lebanese Falangist
forces into those camps. Besides, those Falangists were without
exception followers of the teachings of Jesus, and so Belgium believes
this makes Jesus far more culpable than Ariel Sharon.
The Belgians also insist that Jesus
is guilty of oppressing Palestinians. After all, he was born in
Bethlehem, when it was illegally occupied by Jewish settlers. Then his
parents took him to Nazareth, where Jews do not belong because it is an
Arab city. Jesus’ family were part of the racist campaign to “Judaize”
the Galilee.
When arrested, Jesus refused even
to dignify the Belgian charges against him and turned the other cheek.
All he said was that Brussels looked like the ugliest capital in all of
Europe, and he had seen mangers nicer than it. Once in his cell, he
requested a hot kosher meal.
The trial
is expected to commence in a Belgian court within 4 months.