Ladies and gentlemen, I want to
thank you for electing me as Prime Minister of Israel. As you know, I
ran on a platform of peace and it is now my intention of keeping my
promises to you and my backers and financiers from around the world and
I shall be fulfilling what I have pledged to do.
In my election campaign, I ran on a
platform that you voted for through me. I promised that I would conduct
negotiations with Arafat and the PLO no matter how many Jews the PLO was
murdering during the talks, with the intention of reaching an agreement
for a complete withdrawal from the Gaza Strip within six months. I also
promised that if the PLO refused to strike a deal with me in that time,
then I would withdraw from the Gaza Strip unilaterally and without any
agreement on the part of the Palestinian Authority for anything. I
confirm tonight that this is my solemn intention.
In addition, within a year, I will
reach an agreement with the Palestinian Authority for a complete
withdrawal by Israel from the entire West Bank and the eviction of all
Jewish settlers living there. And if the PLO refuses to reach a deal or
agree to my terms, then Israel will simply pick up and withdraw from the
West Bank anyway, whether or not the PLO agrees to it. Any settlers who
refuse to cooperate with the withdrawal will simply be left for the PLO
and the Hamas to deal with.
So as you see, I refuse to abandon
my principles and my struggle for a just and lasting peace. And just as
I intend to resolve the conflict with the Palestinians in the Gaza Strip
and the West Bank, whether or not the PLO agrees to my terms or agrees
to any compromise, so I intend to resolve the Palestinian refugee
question. I intend to turn the Negev into a large resettlement district
for all those people around the world claiming to be Palestinian
refugees. They will be settled in the Northern Negev and in the area
around Beer Sheba, and Israel will withdraw from these areas of
Palestinian resettlement whether Arafat and the PLO like it or not. We
will negotiate with the PLO in good faith for 18 months, but if the PLO
refuses to agree to our terms, we will withdraw from Beersheba
unilaterally.
The next stage in my peace program
will consist of settling Israel’s conflict with the Hizbullah and Syria
once and for all. I pledge that Israel will enter into serious
full-hearted negotiations with the Hizbullah and Syria and I hope they
will produce a peace accord. I am willing to wait for 24 months for
these talks to yield results. If at the end of this two year period
there is as yet no accord, then Israel will solve the problem
unilaterally, whether the Syrians like it or not. I will order a
complete withdrawal from the Golan Heights, whether Bashar Asad has
agreed to my terms or not, and I will order a 20 mile zone created along
the Lebanese border within Israeli territory in which no Jews will be
permitted to live and in which Lebanese Shi`ites may exercise their own
sovereign self-rule.
As the next step in my problem, I
hereby pledge that I will allow no longer than 30 months for talks with
Israeli Galilee Arabs to produce a peace accord. As you know, my party
and I are committed to granting equal national rights to Israel’s
Palestinian nationals, which is what we now call the Israeli Arabs. So,
if by the end of these 30 months no peace accord has been reached in the
talks, then I intend to solve the matter unilaterally by withdrawing
Israel from all of the Galilee, whether the Galilee Arabs like it or
not, and will order all Israeli troops and civilians to withdraw behind
the new secure borders stretching along the Kishon Creek next to Haifa.
Yes, I am aware of the fact that I will have to order my own parents to
abandon their homes in the Haifa suburb of Kiryat Haim, but I am sure
they are willing to make sacrifices for peace.
If my good friend Gad Zeevi is not
in prison at the time, he promises he will set them up in a nice
penthouse.
Next, I intend to resolve once and
for all the conflict between the Jews and the Arabs in the central parts
of Israel, in Nazareth and the Wadi Ara district. I will conduct good
faith negotiations with their representatives from the communist parties
and the Islamic fundamentalist movement. I will give these talks no
longer than 36 months. If by that time there is no accord reached, then
I will order Israel to withdraw from all areas outside of the greater
Tel Aviv-Gush Dan district. Israel will have peace, while maintaining
its heritage and historic control of both banks of the Yarkon River.
Naturally, I expect the Jews of Jerusalem to relocate there. I will try
to obtain permission from the President of Palestine for them to visit
their old homes in Jerusalem al-Quds every once in a while, but
if he refuses, then we will take the matter into our own hands and not
allow any Jews to go to Jerusalem any more, whether the PLO likes it or
not.
Finally, as my fallback plan, I
intend to conduct serious round-the-clock negotiations with all of our
neighbors, including the President of Palestine in al-Quds. I
will allot a maximum of 48 months for the talks to succeed, that is, the
period before the next elections in Israel will be called and voting
conducted at the Yarkon voting booth. But if those negotiations do not
succeed, I intend to take things into my own hands and end the conflict
once and for all. The Yarkon colonists will be ordered onto the nearby
American cruise ships, and Israel will be converted into a website,
whether or not the Arabs approve, and peace shall reign in the Middle
East once and for all, for ever and ever and ever.
You have may solemn oath!
-
Correction: In contrast
with Friday’s posting, Yossi Ginossar was NOT one of the two agents
who executed the two terrorists in the Bus 300 Affair (and so would be
deserving of my nomination for a medal of valor), but rather was the
very senior official in the intelligence services (“intelligence”
being used loosely) who tried to cover up for the two agents who did
perform the euthanasia and so enraged the Compassionate Caring Left.
Sorry for error.
